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This is the print-friendly version of the April 2003 Newsletter
- Online Issue # 3
April 2003 Newsletter
Online Issue # 3
In this Issue:
• The Front Page
• Good Books
• Profile of C. S.
• Upcoming Calendar
• About the Newsletter / To Subscribe
See also, the print-friendly version of
this newsletter (all the articles are on one web page).
Look for the next issue in August.
The Front Page
The Word is IRRITATION
For me the year 2003 began with a string of especially irritating
personal events. None of the beads on this string was particularly
outstanding (no debilitating accident, major sickness, big failure
or huge catastrophe), but strung together they created a noticeably
downward spiral and a discouraging trend. Given all that is happening
in our world, and given the seriousness of current global interactions,
I feel awkward even mentioning my little irritations. But here goes:
a notice from the city announcing our home’s sanitary sewer
needed repair, two frigid days in January without heat in my third
floor office, a box of reprinted checks that was supposedly lost
but actually never printed, a new retreat that needed to be rescheduled
not once but twice, an obnoxious call from a collections attorney
who had located the wrong person. As you can see, none of this was
that bad. But for some reason each of these events dropped into
my life in a way that produced a direct hit followed by lingering
disruption. It was January in Minnesota, with no snow, and I was
not a happy camper. No, make that: It was January in Minnesota and
war was in the air.
As each event fell into the once peaceful pool of my life, the
charged ripples amplified the tension I already felt. I actually
began watching and waiting for the next dreaded thing. And there
were more, but I won’t bother to name them. Then I began to
feel that maybe I was somehow creating them, and that alarmed me!
I coped as best I could. I talked to friends and hoped to laugh.
I made phone calls and gathered information. I ranted some and despaired
a little. I met a neighbor who received the same “sewer letter”
and together we met Steve, a helpful city employee. I walked along
the river like I always do, and made gingerbread and ate it with
real whipped cream. So there!
My new dismal existence was quickly getting to me because historically
I am an Optimist. But I wasn’t feeling optimistic anymore,
and wondered if maybe this was a new unannounced life phase I had
entered. A friend offered reassurance and humor when she suggested
I could blame the planet Mercury. That honestly helped.
After awhile I began to notice something else. I was settling,
inside. Some of the things that had bothered me still weren’t
resolved, but they bothered me a whole lot less. I actually went
for days without remembering to think about them. And then, when
I did think about them, I didn’t always react in my old upset
way. I suspected I was either becoming detached or growing numb;
either way it felt much better than being reactive.
Then it opened for me! The events were not the irritation. The
events themselves were completely neutral. The frustration I felt
was of my own making. I was the one who turned circumstances into
emotionally charged events. When I allowed them to be just what
they were, neutral events, everything shifted.
Maybe you’ve known this for years and are amused that it took
me so long to discover, or rediscover, this. But maybe you’re
learning it along with me. Or maybe you’re in a refresher course
and learning it again, too.
Maybe you were fired or laid off, or you lost the appeal. Or your
car’s engine has a “major-major” problem. Your retirement
plan is shrinking. You weren’t accepted into the program. Your
special order was never shipped because it vanished. The bus route
you rely on is in danger of being eliminated. The special plans
you made months ago fell through. The list is infinite and holds
the possibility of being infinitely upsetting. As well as irritating,
frustrating, discouraging, disappointing - - you name it. Like me,
you could spend too many miserable moments focused on something
you only wish would resolve itself - - RIGHT NOW AND IN THIS WAY!
But it probably won’t. It’ll hang there in your life
for awhile, maybe even for a long time. But as soon as you remember
it’s a neutral event, it becomes a neutral event. And you do
what you need to do and you move along, and you no longer feel intense
personal discomfort. When all the imaginary arguing subsides, and
all the scheming goes by the way, what’s left is so amazing.
You notice the quiet that so generously fills up the empty places.
It doesn’t have to be “right” for you to feel whole
again “right now”.
Maybe this time you can’t control circumstances and you know
it. Maybe this time you’re not only changing, you’re being
transformed.
With gratitude,
Laurie Mattila
Good Books
The following books were suggested to me by students, clients and
friends - all lovers of a good read and a truly helpful book.
What Should I Do with My Life?
by Po Bronson
Random House, 2002
hardcover, $24.95
Several students in this winter’s “Intentional Living
- Meaningful Work” class were reading Bronson’s new book
and recommended it. If you’re studying, or just fascinated
by, how people navigate changing their life and work in the direction
of meaning, fulfillment or significance, you’ll probably discover
things that will be useful to you. Bronson offers short summaries
of the stories that emerged from his interviews and interactions
with 55 people, but he doesn’t stop there. To this he adds
reflections on his own searching and the “truths” he uncovered
while writing this book. He also shares his candid reactions to
the people he meets, the stories they tell and the changes they
explore. Some readers / reviewers find Bronson’s comments,
and the inclusion of his own process, intrusive; others find it
adds immeasurably to the book. Just know it’s there and is
a significant part of the book.
If you’d like to sample Bronson’s style, check out an
article he wrote for Fast Company available online at www.fastcompany.com/online/66/mylife.html.
“I didn’t spend time in the library to write this
book. Those sources of wisdom felt too abstract compared to the
hard-earned record of those who actually took action, changed their
life, and enjoyed or suffered the consequences.”
-Po Bronson
Sacred Contracts: Awakening Your Divine Potential
by Caroline Myss
Three Rivers Press, 2003
paperback, $15
This is the new paperback version of Sacred Contracts. I’m
including it now because I didn’t mention the earlier hardcover
edition when it came out in 2001, and also because it’s an
excellent companion book to read with Po Bronson’s new book,
mentioned above.
If you pick up Sacred Contracts, expect to study and interact with
it - - not just read it. This is not an entertaining, feel-good,
self-help book you’ll breeze through. Myss is an intuitive,
a teacher and a scholar; AND she wants you to grasp what she comprehended
in one gigantic, educated, intuitive leap, following years of intensive
study across several fields.
Sacred Contracts offers an in-depth investigation of the archetypal
energy patterns that guide us to develop our divine potential and
reveal our life purpose, our “sacred contract.” The chapters
devoted to identifying and interpreting personal archetypes, as
well as the ones focused on creating an archetypal wheel and using
it for everyday guidance are exceptional. This ingenious, inspired
approach will assist you in deciphering your “guaranteed opportunities”
and choosing your highest good. Ultimately, this is a book about
spiritual transformation viewed within a world of symbols and unfolding
patterns.
“Do you really want to look back on your life and see how
wonderful it could have been had you not been afraid to live it?”
-Caroline Myss
The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult
Times
by Pema Chodron
Shambhala Publications, 2002
paperback, $12.95
When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times
by Pema Chodron
Shambhala Publications, 2000
paperback, $12.95
Pema Chodron is an American Buddhist nun whose timeless message
might be important to you right now. These two books speak to the
hearts and minds of readers with true and urgent needs. If you aren’t
coping with fear or feeling that things are falling apart, these
might not hold your interest or attention. But if you are, either
or both are recommended.
“This very moment is the perfect teacher, and, lucky for
us, it’s with us wherever we are.”
-Pema Chodron
The Lost Soul Companion
by Susan Brackney
Dell Books, 2001
paperback, $11.95
The Not-So-Lost Soul Companion
by Susan Brackney
Dell Books, 2002
paperback, $11.95
Both of these quirky little books are intended for artist-at-heart,
free-spirit types who grapple with the “darker side of creativity”
and “whose dreams can’t be contained by an office cubicle.”
Brackney, a struggling young artist-writer with a wacky sense of
humor, speaks her truth while offering snippets of encouragement
and advice on a range of topics: working a day job, struggling with
depression and rejection, not fitting in, suicidal thoughts, ambitious
dreams, being enough, living playfully, creating, procrastination...
You can also check out the Lost
Soul Companion website.
Profile of C. S.:
following
the Intentional Living - Meaningful WorkSM
class
What are you discovering / rediscovering about living with intention
and working with meaning?
I have always had an attraction/rejection relationship with working
at a corporation. Like both my parents before me, I have always
longed for the security, prestige and career opportunities offered
by a large, stable company, possibly a multinational with worldwide
affiliates and branch offices. I have always felt attracted to the
businessman or woman, the business suit, the symbols of power and
wealth. For years my role models of success have been the jetting
business executives equipped with all the modern gadgets symbolizing
success: Palm Pilot, laptop computer, cell phone, briefcase, frequent
flyer accounts with major air carriers.
At the same time as I was trying to conform to the ranks of the
corporate world, I have been experiencing a deep dissatisfaction,
a sense of inadequacy, the perception of being a sort of misfit.
After several attempts at finding "the perfect job," the
right company, the right industry, the right boss, the right co-workers
etc. etc., I have come to the realization that my career has gone
nowhere. After over twenty years of trying to find the perfect fit
for me, the end result is just a job, a pay check, devoid of any
passion and spirit, where my skills and knowledge are grossly underutilized.
My "so-called" career has experienced various halts, interruptions,
re-thinking and new attempts at reinventing myself, but despite
my efforts I am finding myself, at age 50, totally dissatisfied
with my work. While other areas of my life are fine, my career has
never really taken off.
Lately the malaise has become unbearable and the hope of finding
the right fit in a corporation has waned. Perhaps, amongst other
things, I have failed to see all that it takes to make it in a corporation:
the long hours, the trudging, the politics, the need to abide by
a set of rules and values one may not embrace in full. Perhaps my
efforts have always been half-hearted, as deep down I wanted something
else. Most likely, I have never found the right fit for my skills,
personality and inclinations, or an environment where I could flourish.
I have always been a soul-searching person, lately more than ever.
In the last few years my career dissatisfaction has been like a
wound that is not healing and bleeds at the slightest rubbing. I
have decided I need to do something about it. I still have at least
fifteen years of active work life, and I cannot spend it doing something
that I find dissatisfying.
Attending the "Intentional Living - Meaningful Work"
class helped me refocus and rediscover passions and thoughts that
have always been within me - only I did not have the courage to
act on them. I have now decided that I want to try something new;
I want to start my own business, as "travel designer"
of customized trips and uncommon itineraries in my country of origin,
Italy. I want to do something that leverages my skills, knowledge
and my passions, and that will bring the best out of me. From now
on, every day I am going to take some "safe steps" towards
achieving my goal, while leveraging my day job as "sustainer."
I will take off when the time is right. In the meantime, I am going
to take action and prepare for when that day comes.
I have realized that instead of feeling helpless with my career,
I will regularly take baby steps to achieve my goal of having my
own business: taking people to undiscovered Italy.
Note:
“Intentional Living - Meaningful Work” is offered each
winter through the Compleat Scholar Program at the University of
Minnesota. Information about the course appears in the spring course
listings available on the Compleat
Scholar Program website.
Upcoming Calendar:
Discovery Writing: Creating A FutureSM
For NEW Students:
Discovery Writing: Creating A Future
This six-session class uses process writing as a way to explore
what you truly desire; it is also a path to follow in creating your
future.
Spring Schedule 2003
Saturday mornings ( 9:00 - 11:00 a.m. )
April 19, 26 May 10, 17, 31
June 7
Wednesday evenings ( 6:30 - 8:30 p.m. )
April 23, 30 May 7, 21, 28 June
4
Summer 2003
No classes will begin this summer.
Fall Schedule 2003
Saturday mornings ( 9:00 - 11:00 a.m. )
September 13, 27 October 11,
25 November 8, 22
Monday evenings ( 6:30 - 8:30 p.m. )
September 29 October 13, 27
November 10, 24 December 8
More about Discovery Writing: Creating
A Future
For FORMER Students:
2003 Discovery Writing Weekend Retreat for Women
The annual fall retreat is scheduled for the weekend of October
17-19 at StoneyWoods Retreat Center. Invitations will be mailed
in mid August to all of the women who have been in Discovery Writing
classes.
Discovery Writing Year-long Groups
The next year-long groups for former Discovery Writing students
will begin in January 2004. These groups meet monthly for an entire
year and all former Discovery Writing students are welcome to participate.
Invitations will be mailed in late November. Members are asked to
make a year-long commitment.
2004 Women’s Retreat
Voicing Inner Wisdom: Cultivating Spiritual Luck
This weekend retreat will be offered again early next year. It is
open to all women who are interested in hearing their own wisdom
and exploring the role of luck in their lives. If you want to receive
the retreat flyer and registration information when it becomes available,
please contact Laurie Mattila at 651-644-7766 or mail@LaurieMattila.com
About the Newsletter
This newsletter is created several times a year for my clients
and students, and anyone else interested in listening to and trusting
their own deep knowing. It is designed to support your process of
discovery and growth, and to bring you up-to-date about my practice.
It offers encouragement, guidance and resources for you.
You will find new issues posted on my website in the months of
August, December and April. I hope you add my website to your favorite
places and check back when the next issues are scheduled.
Subscribe Here:
Feel free to share this newsletter and my website with others who
might be interested. Please copy the newsletter in its entirety,
crediting me as the author and including copyright information and
how to contact me.
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