December 2003 Newsletter
Online Issue # 5
In this Issue:
See also, the print-friendly version of
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Look for the next issue in April.
The Front Page
Vocabulary for a New Year
The ending of one calendar year and the beginning of another is a perfect
time to examine your "personal vocabulary" and make choices about what you will
keep, what you will let go, and what you will add. It's an opportunity to
consider the words you use and those you don't, and how both spoken and unspoken
words are shaping your life - - with or without your awareness.
To begin, take a few moments to think about words that you clearly want to
KEEP in your vocabulary and your life. These words are links to the things on
which you choose to focus your precious time, energy, love and attention. They
sustain you, and it's important to recognize their presence in your life.
Also, think about other words that you're ready and willing to let go, to
RELEASE. These words diminish you, and others, each time you focus more of your
attention on them. Instead of sustaining you, they magnify disappointment and
frustration, often leaving you feeling stuck, alone, cheated or somehow less
than. It's time for you to give yourself the gift of releasing them. If you
don't know how, or you can't do this on your own, find a trustworthy guide
through the process.
Finally, think about words that you want to ADD to your vocabulary in the
coming year. These words might represent secret longings or significant choices
of a tangible or spiritual nature. Some might be words you're reluctant to
speak out loud, so you'll need to give yourself permission to experiment with
them. That means you'll DARE to focus your attention in a variety of ways:
imagining, writing, posting, pondering and speaking them. And you'll DARE to
watch what happens.
Let me demonstrate. So far, I've come up with three example words from my
own life, one for each category.
- I know I want to keep - FREEDOM
- I know I want to release - EXPECTATIONS
- I know I want to add - MAGIC
Now what? Start by talking to yourself on paper in an affirming and
supportive way that uses your vocabulary words. Play around with writing down
possibilities that energize and inspire you. Listen for phrases that call forth
choices you're longing to make. I'll demonstrate again using my own words.
After some awkward attempts and a few false starts, I wrote the following
statements that feel and sound right for me.
- I thrive in the FREEDOM of being self employed.
- I refuse to measure my accomplishments by unrealistic EXPECTATIONS.
- I invite MAGICal moments into my life.
Did you notice the defensive tone in the middle statement above? I clearly
don't want to be focusing on what I don't want, so I'll remedy that by
affirming / declaring the essence of what I do want. What I really want to release
is unrealistic expectations so that I can measure my accomplishments
realistically. Here's a new version, without the defensive tone.
- I measure my accomplishments by my own realistic EXPECTATIONS.
I now have at least three words that I want to focus on during the next year: FREEDOM, realistic EXPECTATIONS and MAGIC. And three threads to follow and
pay attention to as the months go by. Who knows where this will lead or what
I'll discover? What I do know from past experience, both my own and that of
others, is that by choosing my focus, even if it's only three vocabulary words,
I am choosing to alter the direction my new year and my life will take. On
any given day it might not make a noticeable difference, but there is a
cumulative change, a shift in direction that occurs as the weeks and months go by.
It's that minute adjustment along the path, amplified by each mile of the
journey. You think to yourself: Why bother? But when you experience the shift
miles (or months) later, it earns your attention.
Consider for a moment that I didn't do this simple experiment and instead
ended up focusing on three other words, either by default or habit:
Disappointment, Stress, Obligations. These are real life words I have been thinking
about. Also consider that I didn't take a few minutes to shift my focus from what
I don't want to what I really do want. Twelve months from now I can probably
expect to be / feel even more disappointed, stressed and obligated - - given
that I've been focusing on these words for twelve months, even if
unintentionally.
Years ago I read several of Marsha Sinetar's many helpful books. One line
from one of them leaped off the page and planted itself in my life: "You get
more of what you focus on." That is the heart of this simple vocabulary
experiment. Whether you're aware of it or not, you do choose words and you do focus
on them. AND the words on which you focus your attention, shape your life.
A quote from Sonia Choquette, which I once copied into my notebook, says it
eloquently. "Your own words are the bricks and mortar of the dreams you want
to realize. Your words are the greatest power you have. The words you choose
and use establish the life you experience."
Let the coming year be one of your own choosing, a year in which you go
beyond what holds you back. Three chosen words, over twelve months, will shift
your focus and alter your direction. One to keep... one to release... one to
add. Let the experiment begin. Let the process unfold.
With gratitude,
Laurie
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