December 2004 Newsletter
Online Issue # 8

Profile of Sarah Elizabeth

SPIRITUAL AWAKENING

Nine years ago I put both feet on the path and began walking, spiritually. Life situations began changing drastically for me, starting with a divorce in 1995.

Looking back I can see how the marriage to which I pledged was nothing to aspire to, really. Somehow, in my young life a belief formed and lodged deep within, telling me what would give me status and add meaning to my life was to find a man and get married. Needless to say, I was a desperate player in the dating game and made several unskillful moves.

As the reality of my failing marriage became closer and closer, divorce had to become an option as much as I opposed the thought of it. More than that, I feared divorce, thinking and believing if I was to go through with it, the world would fall out from under me.

In 1995 I made the decision to end my marriage, and unlike choosing to go forward in marriage with a partner, I made this decision on my own. This is the key to my spiritual awakening. For the first time in my life I made a clear and sensible decision, following an inner voice that had my best interests in mind. I saw what I was faced with and, with the grace of angels, I moved in rhythm with an appealing energy and was led away from fear. The world did not fall out from under me. Rather, it caught me and greeted me wholeheartedly upon my return. Moving the last piece of furniture out of the shared house was done with hands and with wings. Angels carried me over the threshold, and my oh my, was it romantic. It was real.

A PASSION FOR LEARNING

In my new life I met me and I spent quality time listening to what was important. I was guided inward to the place I had been missing – for so long. Alas, an overdue creative Self was born. A young exuberant spirit emerged and all the earth's landscape looked to be one big field upon which to play.

What would be my first brave and daring maneuver? School. Writing! I signed up for both literature and poetry courses at the University of Minnesota. This was a huge move for a woman, now in her mid thirties who had not been to school since 12th grade. And there I was, filled with enthusiasm and intimidation, all at once. Oh yes, even on my awakened journey the negative critic nagged. I cried my eyes out leaving those classrooms. At the time I thought I was crying about my stupidity. Now, I wonder if my tears welled up from the depth of my soul, mourning and grieving the years it missed discovering the artistry of the world. Tears or not, I returned to the classroom every class period and by quarter's end walked home with distinguished grades of A's and B's.

I did not carve out a focus of study while attending the University. Studying itself became my passion and continues to be highest among the ranks of all my passions. For I have found that in walking spiritually on one's path, with one's two feet, all life experience is about learning and paying attention. From this I have formed a new belief that says if I engage fully in whatever life situation I am in, there is heart and meaning, and the beloved, Wisdom.

Sometime during the poetry course a catalog for the Split Rock Arts Program circulated. How intriguing, I thought, to spend an entire week at a writing workshop. As a kid who missed out on the popular agenda of youth camp programs offered today, I decided to enroll in a course and in mid-July I eagerly set out for what I called Writing Camp.

The course I chose was titled Autobiography of the Soul led by Sharon Doubiago of California. Sharon sent out packets of information about the course, including writing assignments. In the time I had before attending the workshop, I began writing in a journal. In those pages I found there was a person who was ashamed of her position as a receptionist. I was in my twelfth year with the same company. I remember feeling nauseous anytime anyone asked me what I did for a living. And, if I ever sensed the question coming, I left the room to avoid misery and embarrassment.

GIVE ME CHALLENGE

Along with writing, I began praying to God for hard work. Give me something hard, something more challenging, I pleaded. I promised God I was ready for hard work. I spoke and wrote about my disheartened attitude regarding career with my "soul mates" many times during writing camp. We all decided what I should write was my two-week notice. And so I did.

The day I turned in my resignation I learned from my doctor that I had Diabetes. Huh… There was my hard work. No job. No Insurance. Although I hadn't heard the phrase – be careful what you pray for, I knew exactly what happened spiritually. God, as I said back then, had other plans for bringing me heart work and knowledge.

God Creator Spirit, one of the many ways I now address the Divine, carried me through days of intense change: learning about and living with Diabetes, working part-time as a server, attending courses in psychology, living in an efficiency apartment and traveling the town via bus, bike and foot.

My schedule was a bit erratic. Textbook lessons weren't as fulfilling as I had hoped. Otherwise, my days and nights encouraged an introspective lifestyle, which I welcomed and grew to love. Bike rides, meditation, walks, writing – all of these spaces where my inner wisdom could be heard. Since I noticed the long sought after wisdom was coming to me in ways other than through tests and texts, I decided to make a change, again.

A NEW VISION EMERGES

In order to live comfortably I figured it would be best to work full-time so as to ensure medical coverage and to make enough money to support my lifestyle. There were so many places to which I hoped to travel and more and more alternative workshops were calling to me. Seeking full-time employment was my way of creating alignment with the flow of desires pouring from my soul.

In synch with my new vision, and on the very same day, my good friend, Cathy, who is also the administrator at the office where I worked for 12 years, called me to inquire - Did I want my job back? The firm made an attractive offer and yet my sense was it'd be impossible to go back. I asked for a week to think it over. In that time I decided how I could make this move a "go forward" rather than viewing it as a step backward. I came up with plenty of positive criteria to feed the "go forward" and happily accepted the job. This was late November 1998.

Fortunately for me, my vacation time was reinstated and I was able to go ahead with the vacation I had scheduled for December 10th. On a sunny winter morning I flew to New York and joined a group of about one hundred other people, all registered to embark on a tour of Egypt: Journey of The Soul, led by Dr.'s Deepak Chopra and Wayne Dyer.

Ever since I was a little girl I thought of Egypt as the Holy Land. I dreamed of going; but I'm not sure I thought the dream would ever come alive. When I first saw a flier for the trip I wondered why I couldn't do something like this – I wanted more than any thing to go. Not having a savings account was all I considered as I put the flier aside. One or two weeks later, when it came time to sort through and tidy piles of paper that cluttered my tiny apartment, I came across the flier and took another look. This time I went straight to my phone, dialed the listing tour agent, and booked a spot.

There was a six-month period between the time I booked the trip and the day I departed. Feeling a persistent fear about traveling so far away and all on my own was less than pleasant. How could I go through with it?

I began exploring nature more intently and formed a deep bond with the two old oak trees that stood outside my apartment windows. I prayed with them. I asked them to believe in me, and in my return. I discovered in them a significance and beauty so grand. The message of their hearts taught me, All land is Holy when viewed with mindful eye.

My trip to Egypt was life changing in that I released the fear I had about the world being too big for me. I found that I fit snugly in the loving arms of the universe.

SPIRITUAL DIRECTION

In the year following, my interest in psychology/counseling peaked again. I researched local seminaries, theology schools, and a variety of spiritual programs. I found the Center for Spiritual Guidance Training Program, which offered a two-year course for Spiritual Direction. I chose to apply to this program mainly because of the application process. (Some schools accepted any student willing to pay the fee.) I was looking for an intent group of people and trusted I'd find one in a place where the most looked for thing was a student's desire and reason for wanting to practice spiritual direction.

Oh the journey - it ebbed and flowed, ebbed and flowed. I often wondered what it was about textbooks I didn't like? My course of study could've been a whole lot easier I'd gasp to myself in a huff. And then I'd laugh knowing full well it wasn't something easier I signed up for.

Spiritual direction was as much about me getting to the core of my life as it was about preparing me to sit with clients and their journeys. So after having accomplished all this I still yearned for a little bit more. I really, really, really wanted to build more skills to support my role as director. I wanted to center deeply in a rooted place of trusting my intuition.

In response to that yearning I saw an ad in the Edge newspaper for the Meta Institute. Perfect! This is a place I had already been for Reiki training a few years back. My instructors there were the best two teachers I ever had. They showed genuine interest in me achieving my goals and they demonstrated a passion for their work unlike any other schoolteacher I had known.

I applied to what was then their newest program: Therapeutic Coaching®, a 13-month intensive course including Hypnosis and NLP. Quite simply, I had no idea how much I bargained for! I learned about and received training in healing modalities I barely knew existed. I acquired more skills and confidence, and graduated with honors in June 2003. Most importantly, through a circle of openhearted men and women who were my classmates, I discovered that learning is powerful, meaningful and fun.

And so is change.

written by Sarah Elizabeth
© December 2004

Editor's Note: If you are interested in Spiritual Direction or Therapeutic Coaching® with Sarah you may contact her by phone at 612-722-5735 to request a brochure and to discuss scheduling and fees.

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