December 2005 Newsletter
Online Issue # 11
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The Front Page
Spilling Over With Joy
As we enter the span of days between Thanksgiving and the new year, we enter the season known for its love, joy and goodwill. Toward all? Toward ourselves? If we are willing, there is always more to contemplate and discover. But contemplation takes time, and we all know that many of us now live time deprived lives year round.
This past year our world witnessed massive suffering that has touched almost everyone. Even those not directly affected are still affected from a distance, although in ways less life-threatening and less painful. More and more of us are truly beginning to grasp the intimacy of connections here on planet Earth. What does or doesn't happen to you, affects us all. So whenever you choose to live true to your heart and soul, you aren't the only one affected. Your whole world is.
"I'm gonna let the Laughing River, flow right into my soul." -Greg Brown
The first time I heard Greg Brown's recording of the song "Laughing River"—the lyrics and the music went right to my soul and I wanted to hear that laughing river myself and feel it inside me. Back then, I didn't know exactly what that meant or how it would come about, but I wanted it. In this way the laughing river became a guiding energy for me. It wasn't just about making a point to laugh more, although I still want to do that. It called to me about living in a way that allowed a beautiful energy to flow freely through me and into the world: letting go, holding nothing back, without fear, with joy and trusting it all. It felt like a life spilling over with wonderful energy: at home, at the grocery store, at the post office, in my office, everywhere. I wanted to manifest a laughing river in my life and in my soul.
Taking time to focus on the laughing river in your own life might seem like a selfish waste of time, especially in a world where so much needs doing. But I've noticed the transformational power in individuals who clearly hear the laughing river of their own deep joy and allow it to guide their choices in life and work. I've felt it in their presence, a loving attention to who and what is in front of them; I've seen the way they show up and hold nothing back. I've experienced it myself—being fully present to the task at hand and entering into the joy of it, not just because the task is so inherently enjoyable, although sometimes it is. Entering the joy of the laughing river is the way I want to be in the task, and in life, regardless. This continues to be the challenge in my own growth and also the heart of my work: allowing the joy to flow.
I was recently surprised when I turned the page on my office calendar, "The Poetry of Rumi," from November to December to check on an upcoming appointment. The selection for December 2005 reads:
"When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy." -Rumi
There it was again. I also noticed the theme appearing in a series of questions in Lynn Robinson's book, Compass Of The Soul, which I reviewed in this newsletter. "Does this decision make me happy?" "Do I feel energized by this decision?" "What would be the most perfect outcome to this situation?" "What do I want?" In other words, What does my soul want?
This is a fine time of the year to pose soulful questions. Cold, dark nights are the perfect backdrop for their contemplation. And so is the end of year review many of us naturally perform, looking back over the past twelve months of our lives noting the high and low points, the upward and downward trends and the stuck places, promising ourselves that next year will be different. But how many of us ask our souls what they still yearn for, or if we already know, how many of us dare to risk letting go of our own fading, dispirited agendas and throw open our lives to leap into the river of joy—trusting our own soul's guidance?
The truth is we often feel ill-prepared for such high adventure, as domesticated as we've become. But, if we're lucky, something happens somewhere in our world and we are called to go beyond our present selves and there is no turning back or pretending not to hear. Maybe we grasp that our days are finite and we have spent months, even years, being miserable or bored. Maybe we admit our pain and the emotional cost of continuing to pursue what we do not love, or even care about. Maybe we are forced to leap when the structures that once supported us topple. However it happens, our soulful instincts are always there for us and we can begin to know our joy and ourselves again. Like an accomplished dancer we'll begin to move from our center, not our head, and everything else will follow. The music, the song and the dance are in us; they always were. We become the laughing river, spilling over with joy that will not be contained.
With gratitude,
Laurie Mattila
Note: The song "Laughing River" is found on Greg Brown's 1992 CD "Dream Cafe" on the Red House Records label at www.redhouserecords.com
The 2006 "Poetry of Rumi" calendar is available at www.brushdance.com
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