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This is the print-friendly version of the August 2008 Newsletter -
Online Issue # 19
August 2008 Newsletter
Online Issue # 19
In this Issue:
See also, the print-friendly version of this newsletter (all the articles are on one web page).
Look for the next issue in December.
The Front Page
MINING VS UNDERMINING
Shouldn't I be writing about surviving in a difficult economy and trying to calm widespread fears about job losses, echoing how awful everything seems right now? Wouldn't that be the responsible thing to address, given the focus of my work?
Being who I am, I can't go there. I need to focus on what I want to grow: trust in living true to our own selves, guided by our own wisdom, regardless.
Some have wisely said that it's not what happens, it's our response to what happens that matters most. This applies to the big things and maybe more to the everyday things: what we eat and drink, what we think and speak, what we buy and borrow, what we do or don't do.
Sometimes I wonder if I watched too many “hero to the rescue” television shows when I was a child. I clearly remember the wonderful rush, feeling how it would be to arrive just in time to turn around another tragedy in the making. A smart, chubby young girl with long braids, I wanted to be a hero who rode or flew off to my next adventure as the theme music played in the background.
In comparison to my heroic, childhood imaginings, tidying up my office for a client, returning phone calls, and preparing for a group might seem like a letdown. But I know that most of life is lived in the in-between. I still love heroic rescues, but there are billions of ordinary moments to love and live, all with their own untapped potential. These are the overlooked, almost invisible moments when we are getting by, hanging out, or waiting for some other moment. It doesn't take much to mine the treasure in these moments, if we remember. We can choose to focus our attention, gifts, and compassion on the situation surrounding us. Or we can ignore, whine, complain, undermine, and feed the popular frenzy about you name it.
On occasion, we all dismiss these in-between non moments, relating to them as though they were disposable packing material wrapped around the real highlights of our life. It's important to acknowledge that the moments that make up life's nonevents actually equal years of our lives. These moments hold the undeveloped potential for being more alive and awake to life. Instead of getting through them, wasting precious time counting down the hours and the days, we can choose to more fully inhabit all the moments of life. We can notice who or what is before us, right there in front of us, needing what we bring.
In the words of poet Marge Piercy, The Art of Blessing the Day, we can choose to “be glad for what does not hurt.”
With gratitude,
Laurie Mattila
Good Books
The Second Journey:
The Road Back to Yourself
by Joan Anderson
Hyperion, 2008
hardcover, $23.95
Joan Anderson's first book, A Year by the Sea, chronicled the “awakening” she experienced when she made the decision to walk out of her old life and live for a year on her own on Cape Cod. Her account of that year touched thousands of women and led to Anderson traveling around the country offering weekend workshops and writing several more books: An Unfinished Marriage, A Walk on the Beach, and A Weekend to Change Your Life. Now, ten years later she finds herself at another crossroad stretched dangerously thin by her own schedule and expectations.
In her latest book, Anderson embarks on a second journey that takes her back to her true self by way of Iona, an island off the coast of Scotland. Her struggle to take her own advice and carve out time and space for herself is complicated by the demands of success, her aging mother, her own health, grandchildren, children and husband. She knows she is living a life that has somehow become not her own; it is this crisis that intersects with an out of the blue invitation to come to stay in a cottage on Iona, a place her immigrant father had insisted she visit.
The month she spends living on the island, exploring and discovering its ancient secrets, turns out to be a spiritual journey of remembering herself. Removed from the never ending pressures and entrenched patterns of life back home, Anderson is free to decide for herself, however she is not free of herself. The outer and inner paths she travels are intricately connected and her telling of both makes for compelling reading.
As soon as I finished reading The Second Journey I went in search of all of her books. I found A Year by the Sea and was immediately happy because I did not want the story to end. Anyone facing the dilemma of living in a life that no longer fits or has become too full to enjoy will benefit from Anderson's book on beginning the second journey.
”There are the outlived events and relationships that we must celebrate and then let go of, and there are the unlived experiences that we must search for, welcome, and live into.”
-Joan Anderson
Creating Money:
Attracting Abundance
by Sanaya Roman & Duane Packer
H J Kramer published in a joint venture with New World Library, 2008
paperback, $13.95
“This powerful book shows you the way not only to abundance but to something far more important: a life well lived, full of joy and satisfaction, for you are following your inner guidance every moment, and doing what you love to do.”
-Marc Allen, publisher of New World Library
from the foreword
Creating Money, first published ten years ago, has been revised and published as a joint venture with New World Library, after selling over half a million copies. I accidentally discovered the book on my way to locating another title on a nearby shelf. It turns out to be one of the best books I've read about attracting abundance.
The authors attribute the book's spiritual and energy teachings to their spirit guides Orin and DaBen. If you can easily accept that, or forget it, I think you'll find the book instructive and fascinating.
Creating Money includes four sections: Creating Money - “a step-by-step guide to the art of manifesting,” Developing Mastery - working and moving through “any blocks you may have about allowing abundance in your life,” Creating Your Life's Work - making money and creating abundance through “doing the things you love,” and Having Money - creating “joy, peace, harmony, clarity, and self-love with your money, letting it flow and increase.” This arrangement of topics doesn't distinguish the book from many other books about money. What's different is the way Creating Money helps readers to acquire, and act on, new beliefs and thoughts about money and a string of related topics: abundance, attraction, manifesting, magnetizing, success, fulfillment, trust and worth. After all, we create our reality through what we believe, think, and say. In the words of Louise Hay, “It's only a thought and a thought can be changed.”
Each chapter is interspersed with well written, easy to locate affirmations in large type. A few examples follow: My prosperity prospers others. I choose beliefs that bring me aliveness and growth. I allow myself to feel successful. I know what I love to do and I do it. At the end of every chapter you'll find an exercise or playsheet that allows you to thoughtfully apply the chapter's teaching to your own life. There is a complete list of these exercises following the table of contents.
“The only way you can truly love and support others is to support their aliveness and growth, and one of the best ways to do that is to support your own aliveness and growth.”
-Sanaya Roman & Duane Packer
The following books remain on my reading list:
A Life At Work:
The Joy of Discovering What You Were Born to Do
by Thomas Moore
Broadway Books, 2008
hardcover, $24.95
I haven't read another book by Thomas Moore since Care of the Soul, so I was excited to find this book on the work we are born to do. If it had been another Care of the Soul spinoff, Care of the Soul at Work, I wouldn't have picked it up. I'm hoping it contains fresh material and insights.
The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die
by John Izzo
Berrett-Koehler, 2008
paperback, $15.95
I picked this up on impulse when I saw “As Seen On Public TV” on the cover. I didn't see the television series myself, but I'm attracted to the idea of interviews with 200 people, ages 60-106, who were identified by those who know them as “the one person they knew who had found happiness and meaning.” Izzo distills what he learned from the interviewees into Five Secrets, which are probably things we already know, but need not to forget. That could make for a great read.
The Passion Test:
The Effortless Path to Discovering Your Destiny
by Janet Bray Attwood & Chris Attwood
Hudson Street Press, 2007
hardcover, $23.95
I've had this book since it came out last fall and I keep meaning to read it and review it. If it interests you and you don't want to wait any longer for me to get to it, go ahead and see what you think of it. Passion is an attractive concept that often mystifies us when we try to identify it in our own lives. If you don't know your own passion(s), where do you start and how do you find them? Maybe the Passion Test will help.
Practice Page
“It’s fun to have fun, but you have to know how.”
-from The Cat In The Hat
by Doctor Seuss
Here’s an idea for you to think about, write about, talk about, wonder about, and try out.
When finances are tight at work and at home, one of the first things to be eliminated is the fun stuff. It’s considered nonessential and an unwise use of limited funds. Nothing could be further from the truth. It’s the fun that makes life and work and us more enjoyable. It allows us to tap important aspects of ourselves including our imagination, creativity, and personality. Fun grows self-esteem, confidence, well-being, loyalty, and community. It reduces the negative effects of stress, worry, fear, loneliness, and over working. We improve our world and ourselves when we know how to have fun.
There is one plus side to tighter finances: it motivates people to evaluate what is truly fun. Some of the costly events/ activities we sponsor and participate in might have outlived their fun. Maybe they were fun at one time, but they no longer feel that way. Others never were. It’s important to ask, What’s fun now?
Challenge: Change what you do to make it even more fun and more affordable too!
What is the essence of fun anyway? How do you know when something is fun for you? Using these clues, what else would allow you to have fun?
Making a list might be a place to begin.
My example
• begin with one fun thing
Mine is travel.
• get specific, identify what makes it fun
Before I automatically add the word travel to my list, I consider that not all of travel is fun (retrieving luggage, delayed or canceled flights, feeling sick away from home, getting lost). So, I try to identify all that makes travel fun for me: going and being somewhere else -- taking a plane or train -- being on a ferry, boat, ship -- researching destinations -- all of the possibilities -- eating good food and drinking good coffee in different places -- seeing new things -- finalizing reservations -- talking with others who enjoy travel -- visiting travel web sites -- meeting interesting people -- people watching -- waking up in a different place
• branch out with more specifics related to any fun
As the list begins to develop, I let go of where the list started and focus on the specifics of any fun: laughing -- wanting to do something again -- doing what I don’t normally do -- being outside -- sitting at an outdoor cafe -- listening to music -- relaxing near water -- drinking coffee -- having dessert -- wearing a hat -- walking on a boardwalk -- going to a museum -- walking -- watching trains, ships and planes -- appreciating art
• make plans or be spontaneous, but create what’s clearly fun
spend an hour sitting at an outdoor cafe enjoying a cup of coffee and people watching
Many of the things I listed are doable today and cost very little or nothing. Travel might still be the ultimate fun, but by identifying and doing more of the things that are fun to do when traveling—like spending an hour sitting at an outdoor cafe enjoying a cup of coffee and people watching—I get to have fun now, closer to home, and in a truly affordable way.
Now It’s Your Turn
• begin with one fun thing
• get specific, identify what makes it fun
• branch out with more specifics related to any fun
• make plans or be spontaneous, but create what’s clearly fun
Begin with something you know is fun for you. Instead of writing this at the top of your list, try to identify the specifics of what makes this fun. Make a list of these specific details and then branch out by adding to your list any other specifics you associate with having fun, e.g. staying up late, sleeping in, remembering and telling funny stories, anticipation, enjoying good chocolate, watching favorite movies....
Just because something costs a lot, or costs more, doesn’t guarantee it will be fun for you. If you feel you have less money to play with this summer, it doesn’t mean you need to cancel or postpone having fun. Why not use your list of clues to create more of what’s fun for you? You might need to change how and where you do things and be more creative than you’ve been lately, but creativity and change can add to the fun.
Wishing you good times in August.
Laurie Mattila
© August 2008
Upcoming Calendar:
Discovery Writing: Creating A FutureSM
celebrating 15 years of listening-writing
For NEW Students:
Discovery Writing: Creating A Future
For 15 years Discovery Writing has been helping people to hear and trust their own knowing, in order to create a life of their own choosing.
This six-session class uses a simple “listening-writing” process as a way to explore what you truly desire; it is also a path to follow in creating your future.
View the online flyer to learn more about Discovery Writing: Creating A Future
Fall 2008 classes
Wednesday evenings ( 6:30 - 8:30 p.m. )
September 24 October 8, 22 November 5, 19 December 3
Winter 2009 classes
Tuesday evenings ( 6:30 - 8:30 p.m. )
January 13, 27 February 10, 24 March 10, 24
Spring 2009 classes
Thursday mornings ( 9:00 - 11:00 a.m. )
April 16, 23, 30 May 7, 14, 21
For FORMER Students:
2008 Discovery Writing Weekend Retreat for Women
The fall Discovery Writing retreat is scheduled for the weekend of October 17-19 at StoneyWoods Retreat Center. This annual retreat is open to all former and current Discovery Writing participants. If space remains available, the retreat will open to any woman interested in personal discovery through listening-writing.
Detailed information will automatically be e-mailed to past registrants, as long as I have your current e-mail address. Let me know if you do not receive the retreat e-mail by August 15 and I will send it to you.
If you are new to Discovery Writing and interested in attending the retreat, please send me an e-mail requesting retreat information to LaurieMattila@aol.com. Expect a response after August 15.
2009 Discovery Writing Yearlong Group
I'm already looking forward to offering the next yearlong Discovery Writing group beginning in January and meeting monthly through December. Each year the group benefits from the experience of previous groups and goes beyond what has ever been. The process evolves and so do our lives—sitting around the purple table—listening and writing. If you are a former student interested in participating in the 2009 yearlong group, watch for more details in the December newsletter. In the meantime, pencil the 2nd Monday evening of each month on your 2009 calendar. Please contact me if you have any questions.
Intentional Living-Meaningful Work SM
celebrating its 10th year
For ALL who are Interested:
Intentional Living—Meaningful Work Group
September 2008 to May 2009
In September, I'll begin another nine-month group that will meet once every month through next May. This group is open to anyone interested in exploring “living with intention and working with meaning,” whether or not you've taken the class. Our focus is on paying attention to the lives we are creating.
With the exception of October (see below), we will meet on the second Wednesday of each month from 6:30-8:30 p.m. at my office in the Midway neighborhood of St. Paul. The cost is $120 per quarter, payable in any month of the quarter. Limit of 8 students.
Meeting dates (by quarter):
September 10, October 15 (3rd Wednesday), November 12
December 10, January 14, February 11
March 11, April 8, May 13
To register, or for additional information or questions, call my office at 651-644-7766 and leave a message, or send an e-mail to me at LaurieMattila@aol.com.
About the Newsletter
This newsletter is created several times a year for my clients and students, and anyone else interested in listening to and trusting their own deep knowing. It is designed to support your process of discovery and growth, and to bring you up-to-date about my practice. It offers encouragement, guidance and resources for you.
You will find new issues posted on my website in the months of April, August and December. I hope you add my website to your favorite places and check back when the next issues are scheduled.
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