December 2008 Newsletter
Online Issue # 20
In this Issue:
See also, the print-friendly version of
this newsletter (all the articles are on one web page).
Look for the next issue in
April.
The Front Page
Testing, One Two Three, Testing
“Life is what happens to you, while you're busy making other plans.”
-John Lennon
This often repeated saying is what my life has been like for the past month. Except, it's not what happened to me, it's what happened to my eighty year old mother.
The week before Thanksgiving, I received a call from my sister-in-law that I needed to come home because my mother's health had deteriorated and my parents needed help. My sister and I left town the next day and spent a week caring for my mother and father. Although my mother was the one with increasingly debilitating back pain, my father had become depleted trying to care for her over the course of several weeks.
Fast forward one week. We returned to the Twin Cities with my parents and a copy of my mother's MRI. Miracle of miracles, my mother was able to be seen by a specialist at Twin Cities Spine Center the Monday after Thanksgiving, and was admitted to Abbott Northwestern Hospital the following Wednesday with an infection in her lower spine.
During these days, marked by my mother's pain, my world changed. I became focused on now: what is needed now. The list seemed endless. While my sister cooked and cleaned, I cared for my mother. My usual, large world of possibilities shrunk to the confines of my parent's home. I was away from my home, office, telephone, computer, husband, neighbor, cat, newspaper and routine. After I returned to my own home, I was still focused on the needs of my parents. Even after my mother was hospitalized, I was still focused on her evolving needs and the needs of my father who was staying with us.
Fast forward two weeks. My mother was admitted to Sister Kenny Institute where she will spend time in rehabilitation: learning to stand, walk, and climb stairs again, and do what she needs to do for an eventual return to her beloved home.
Through all of this, I kept thinking about this newsletter which was “supposed” to be posted online in early December. Even after I realized it wasn't going to happen as planned, and didn't need to happen as planned, I had to adjust to what was possible. I entertained the idea of an abbreviated version, but even that proved to be a huge challenge.
My life right now is not my normal life. I'm camping on the living room floor, making almost daily trips with my father to visit my mother, and focusing more on the work I love. I'm tired and probably look it. But I'm also excited about the change and growth I've realized. I did not know the extent to which I could live in the moment, how physically strong I have become, and how easy it is to let go when you know there is nothing you can do.
For quite some time I've been intentional about living in the moment, strengthening my core, and learning to trust the flow of life. But I haven't had an opportunity to realize my true progress, until this unplanned test happened in real time. Testing, one two three, testing.
I'm happy to report that my mother is working hard in rehab and making progress every day. She will return to our home
sometime in January, and begin the next phase of preparing to return to her own home.
Thank you for waiting a few extra weeks for this issue to be posted on my web site.
With gratitude,
Laurie Mattila
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