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This is the print-friendly version of the December 2008 Newsletter -
Online Issue # 20
December 2008 Newsletter
Online Issue # 20
In this Issue:
See also, the print-friendly version of this newsletter (all the articles are on one web page).
Look for the next issue in April.
The Front Page
Testing, One Two Three, Testing
“Life is what happens to you, while you're busy making other plans.”
-John Lennon
This often repeated saying is what my life has been like for the past month. Except, it's not what happened to me, it's what happened to my eighty year old mother.
The week before Thanksgiving, I received a call from my sister-in-law that I needed to come home because my mother's health had deteriorated and my parents needed help. My sister and I left town the next day and spent a week caring for my mother and father. Although my mother was the one with increasingly debilitating back pain, my father had become depleted trying to care for her over the course of several weeks.
Fast forward one week. We returned to the Twin Cities with my parents and a copy of my mother's MRI. Miracle of miracles, my mother was able to be seen by a specialist at Twin Cities Spine Center the Monday after Thanksgiving, and was admitted to Abbott Northwestern Hospital the following Wednesday with an infection in her lower spine.
During these days, marked by my mother's pain, my world changed. I became focused on now: what is needed now. The list seemed endless. While my sister cooked and cleaned, I cared for my mother. My usual, large world of possibilities shrunk to the confines of my parent's home. I was away from my home, office, telephone, computer, husband, neighbor, cat, newspaper and routine. After I returned to my own home, I was still focused on the needs of my parents. Even after my mother was hospitalized, I was still focused on her evolving needs and the needs of my father who was staying with us.
Fast forward two weeks. My mother was admitted to Sister Kenny Institute where she will spend time in rehabilitation: learning to stand, walk, and climb stairs again, and do what she needs to do for an eventual return to her beloved home.
Through all of this, I kept thinking about this newsletter which was “supposed” to be posted online in early December. Even after I realized it wasn't going to happen as planned, and didn't need to happen as planned, I had to adjust to what was possible. I entertained the idea of an abbreviated version, but even that proved to be a huge challenge.
My life right now is not my normal life. I'm camping on the living room floor, making almost daily trips with my father to visit my mother, and focusing more on the work I love. I'm tired and probably look it. But I'm also excited about the change and growth I've realized. I did not know the extent to which I could live in the moment, how physically strong I have become, and how easy it is to let go when you know there is nothing you can do.
For quite some time I've been intentional about living in the moment, strengthening my core, and learning to trust the flow of life. But I haven't had an opportunity to realize my true progress, until this unplanned test happened in real time. Testing, one two three, testing.
I'm happy to report that my mother is working hard in rehab and making progress every day. She will return to our home
sometime in January, and begin the next phase of preparing to return to her own home.
Thank you for waiting a few extra weeks for this issue to be posted on my web site.
With gratitude,
Laurie Mattila
Good Books
Thank you Margaret G. and Nancy D. for mentioning the following two books. On my own I might not have picked up either of them, but now that I've read them I understand your enthusiastic endorsements.
When Organizing Isn't Enough:
SHED Your Stuff, Change Your Life
by Julie Morgenstern
Fireside, 2008
hardcover, $24.00
Julie Morgenstern, author of the bestseller Organizing From The Inside Out, is back with a new book about getting unstuck in order to create the life you really want, even if you're not sure what that is. The transformational process she calls SHED consists of four steps: Separate the treasures, Heave the trash, Embrace your identity, and Drive yourself forward. SHEDing begins with thoughtfully naming a theme for the next chapter or phase of your life: vibrant health, close to nature, creative expression, boundless learning, offering expertise, circle of friends....
Along with motivating stories, Morgenstern offers readers effective tools to begin dealing with objects overflowing their spaces, commitments competing for their time, and habits working against them. Once the obsolete stuff is identified and let go, there is time and space to enjoy the treasures, move around, try new things, and reflect on the experience. SHEDing is a way to first discover and then create what you really want.
What excites me the most about Morgenstern's latest work is the attention she gives to uncovering the positive motivators that sometimes lead to suffocation and paralysis by stuff. Something that appears and feels quite negative, can have truly positive roots. Not an advocate for shaming or ruthless de-cluttering, Morgenstern wants readers to understand the very real needs that drive a person to do what they do. Her goal is to help people understand and shift their behavior, using practical steps that lead to a new way of living.
“You are standing at the doorway to possibility. You will experience a tremendous lightness of being—an energy you haven't felt for a long time—and the thrill of adventure all around you. Let yourself enjoy the release and the shifts in priorities. There is a sense of vitality, of owning your identity—and choosing your life. You will begin to come up with more ideas of what you want, because now you have space to think. And ideas will have time to develop, because you are no longer distracted with piles of “stuff” or bad habits that you are fighting on a daily basis.”
-Julie Morgenstern
Harmonic Wealth:
The Secret of Attracting the Life You Want
by James Arthur Ray
Hyperion, 2008
hardcover, $24.95
“Harmonic Wealth isn't just about material abundance.... It's about abundance in all areas of your life.” In his new book James Arthur Ray focuses on five key areas, which he refers to as the five pillars: financial, relational, mental, physical and spiritual.
In the first chapter Ray includes a simple way to start noting the abundance in your life, using just a few questions for each of the five areas. How much do you want in your financial freedom account? Do you treat yourself the way you want other people to treat you? How many books do you choose to read per month, per year? Do you have all the toys you want? Have you discovered that one-on-one connection with your creative source?
Many of the ideas and exercises included in Harmonic Wealth will sound familiar, especially if you've read other books on the topic of attracting and creating what you want. What distinguishes this book is the person of James Arthur Ray. Page by page, I developed a genuine liking for him and his unique style. He is a voracious learner, willing to grapple with ideas, someone who has traveled the world to educate himself. He loves life and wants to share what works for him. Throughout the book he includes portions of his own story, for instructional and entertainment purposes, giving readers permission to consider their own complicated histories and realize what still holds them back. I appreciate that Ray writes transparently about coming to his own understanding of true wealth.
You might recognize James Arthur Ray as one of the featured experts in The Secret. If you liked his approach and ideas in the movie, I think you'll really enjoy the more in-depth presentation this book allows.
“I struggle a bit with the label self-help, even if that's the section where you found this book, because I come from the premise that you're already perfect, magnificent, and divine. To my way of thinking, self-help says that you're broke and need to be fixed. I prefer personal transformation. Personal transformation says that no matter how fantastic things are for you, you can always grow, expand, and more fully express yourself. There's always room to receive more of the richness and wealth the universe has to offer. If you're currently struggling in any area, it doesn't mean you're not perfect. It just means you're ready for shift.”
-James Arthur Ray
I'm mentioning three more books I'm excited to have stumbled upon. They might make a wonderful gift for someone on your holiday list, or for you.
Notes From The Universe: New Perspectives from an Old Friend
More Notes From The Universe: Life, Dreams and Happiness
Even More Notes From The Universe: Dancing Life's Dance
by Mike Dooley
Atria Books / Beyond Words, 2007 & 2008
hardcover, $17.95
“What if the Universe were to send you frequent reminders of the absolute power you have over your life?”
from the back cover of
Notes From The Universe
The trilogy, Notes From The Universe, originated as daily thoughts written by Dooley and sent from the Universe to a list of subscribers, now numbering over 250,001. Dooley intends to delight, encourage and inspire you to think and live large and true—right now—today. He wants you to remember: “Thoughts become things.”
These “reminders of life's magic and our divinity” began as a labor of love. Even though Dooley has written thousands of them, you can still feel the love.
If you are interested in signing up to receive the free Monday through Friday daily notes, visit Dooley's website below. Once you're there, I'd encourage you to take a few minutes to read more about Dooley. His path to his life's work is an interesting story.
FYI: “tut” stands for “totally unique thoughts.”
http://www.tut.com
Practice Page
“If people knew the story of their lives, how many would elect to live them?”
-Cormac McCarthy
“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”
-Annie Dillard
Here's an idea for you to think about, write about, talk about, wonder about, and try out.
In my work with small groups and individuals, I use several experiments that allow a kind of stepping back from everyday life to view the story we are living and creating. While it's true that some of the story is already history, whether or not it's been recorded, I want people to see the unfolding story of this moment, and the still to be lived story of the near and distant future.
Working with this idea, some people find it more appealing to think in terms of a film or movie rather than a story. Others like the idea of a screenplay, documentary, novel, soap opera, comic book, tv series. Use whatever form inspires, energizes and resonates with you.
Challenge: Step back from the everyday perspective of your life and see anew.
Use the following questions as a guide to learn more about the life you are currently living.
Setting:
Where does your story take place? Consider all of the places you spend your life. You might want to include your home, work place(s), school, fitness center, favorite hangout, library, where you volunteer....
The Main Character (You):
Who is the main character? What distinguishes this individual? Be specific. Think about physical appearance, personality, beliefs, habits, occupation, friends, family, beliefs, special stuff....
Supporting Roles:
Who else is in your story? What are their roles? What is your relationship with each of them? What are your feelings for each of them?
Plot:
What is your story about? What makes it interesting or fascinating?
Conflict / Tension:
What does the main character (you) want or need to do? What is the dilemma? What complicates things?
Working Title:
It's time to give your story a working title. Make it one that captures the predominant theme of the life you are currently living.
Next Challenge:
Reflect on what you've discovered or remembered about your life as you worked through the above sections: setting, main character, supporting roles, plot, conflict / tension and working title.
Repeat the experiment, making whatever changes are needed to create a new version of your story that feels like a life you want to be living, a life you are willing to create. By taking this step, you are clarifying what you need to focus on and bring into your life. You are probably also identifying some of what needs to go. Let your own words and images guide and inspire you—pull you—into a story and a life of your own choosing.
“Your own words are the bricks and mortar of the dreams you want to realize. Your words are the greatest power you have. The words you choose and use establish the life you experience.”
-Sonia Choquette
“...for to adopt a poetic attitude toward one's own life means not only discovering a different way of telling one's story but a different way of living it.”
-Christine Downing
Sending you infinite blessings.
Laurie Mattila
© December 2008
Upcoming Calendar:
Discovery Writing: Creating A FutureSM
celebrating 15 years of listening-writing
For NEW Students:
Discovery Writing: Creating A Future
For 15 years Discovery Writing has been helping people to hear and trust their own knowing, in order to create a life of their own choosing.
This six-session class uses a simple “listening-writing” process as a way to explore what you truly desire; it is also a path to follow in creating your future.
View the online flyer to learn more about Discovery Writing: Creating A Future
Winter 2009 classes
Tuesday evenings ( 6:30 - 8:30 p.m. )
January 13, 27 February 10, 24 March 10, 24
Spring 2009 classes
Thursday mornings ( 9:00 - 11:00 a.m. )
April 16, 23, 30 May 7, 14, 21
For FORMER Students:
2009 Discovery Writing Yearlong Group
It's time again to consider joining the yearlong Discovery Writing group. If you are a former Discovery Writing student, you are welcome to join the 2009 group, either for the first time or as someone returning. If space remains, the group will open to individuals who are new to Discovery Writing and interested in the listening-writing process.
We'll meet for the first time in January and then monthly through December, always on
the 2nd Monday evening of each month from 6:30-8:30 p.m. at my office in St. Paul. The cost is $120 per quarter, payable in any month of the quarter. The group requires a one year commitment and is limited to 8.
If you have any questions, I'll be happy to talk with you about what to expect. If you decide to participate, contact me to add your name to the group, and then go ahead and pencil the 2nd Monday evening on your 2009 calendar.
2009 meeting dates, listed by quarter:
January 12, February 9, March 9
April 13, May 11, June 8
July 13, August 10, September 14
October 12, November 9, December 14
Intentional Living-Meaningful Work SM
celebrating its 10th year
For ALL who are Interested:
Intentional Living—Meaningful Work Group
The idea of living with intention and working with meaning speaks to the heart, soul, and imagination. When I created this class over ten years ago and began teaching it through the Compleat Scholar, I had no idea it would grow more relevant with each passing year. Once again, the class will be offered in the spring and I would love to have you join us.
Description: Poet Mary Oliver asks, “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” Using this question as a place to begin, you are invited to examine the way you are living and working. Consider other questions too—Is this all there is? What are my true needs? How is my life being consumed? What's worth doing? Grapple with these ideas and more through personal reflection, group discussion, interactive exercises, a little writing, and optional outside reading. The group provides a supportive and stimulating environment that encourages personal responsibility for informed, conscious choice.
Class will be held on the following Thursday evenings at the Continuing Education and Conference Center on the St. Paul campus of the University of Minnesota: April 9, 16, 23, 30 from 6:30-8:30 p.m. Preregistration is required.
To register for Intentional Living—Meaningful Work, you will need to call the Compleat Scholar office at 612-624-4000.
About the Newsletter
This newsletter is created several times a year for my clients and students, and anyone else interested in listening to and trusting their own deep knowing. It is designed to support your process of discovery and growth, and to bring you up-to-date about my practice. It offers encouragement, guidance and resources for you.
You will find new issues posted on my website in the months of April, August and December. I hope you add my website to your favorite places and check back when the next issues are scheduled.
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