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This is the print-friendly version of the August 2010 Newsletter -
Online Issue # 25
August 2010 Newsletter
Online Issue # 25
In this Issue:
See also, the print-friendly version of this newsletter (all the articles are on one web page).
Look for the next issue in December.
The Front Page
A Longing for Quiet
“Nowhere can man find a quieter or more untroubled retreat than in his own soul.”
--Marcus Aurelius
Thirty three years ago, when I was 24, I made a small decision that took root in my life. Unlike other decisions that I have attempted, some repeatedly, this particular decision was not difficult to make or maintain. One part of me hesitates to mention it. I don’t want to be judged, or have assumptions made about me and what I believe. But I also want to use it as an example of how easily life can shift.
What I decided was to live without television, not for the rest of my life, for awhile. My reason was simple: I had been living with a roommate who enjoyed having the television on for company. I felt overexposed to the constant background noise, not that it was so loud. It wasn’t. But it seemed to me it was always on and I had a longing for quiet.
When I moved into my own place that fall, I didn’t have a television and I didn’t want one. Years went by and I didn’t miss it and I never thought to want one. Eventually, I married a man with a portable, black and white t.v. that was soon stolen in a break-in. No loss. We didn’t replace it. Awhile later, we won a portable, color t.v. at a company picnic. After some discussion, we decided to keep it and store it in a closet, because we didn’t plan on watching it much. If we ever needed it, it would be there.
I don’t want to imply that I’ve never watched a single television program since that decision back in 1977; of course I have. I’m not against television; I just don’t want to live with it.
As a kid I adored television and remember vividly the first one our family owned. I had many favorite programs that I still enjoy thinking about. Who didn’t love I Love Lucy? But after those early years, I have a giant 33 year, and growing, gap where my firsthand knowledge of television is hit or miss. There are hugely famous shows that I never saw, not even one episode. Add to that, thousands of unseen commercials.
In spite of this, it’s pretty amazing how much a person who doesn’t watch t.v. knows about what’s on and what’s hot. Television is such a pervasive force in our culture. Even without watching t.v., we can be exposed to up-to-the-minute updates about the shows, the characters, the actors who play them, love interests, challenges, scandals, addictions, and on and on.
In all these years I've rarely mentioned this decision to anyone. Who honestly cares whether I watch t.v. or not? Well, there was one person who did: the cable guy who stopped by right after we moved into our newly purchased home. When I told him we didn't watch t.v., he blurted out, “What are you, Communists?” I'd never thought of it quite that way myself.
Thinking about this recently, I was curious about how much viewing time I'd gained during these 33 years. Here's my estimate: Suppose I had spent one hour a day watching television. That's 365 hours in a year or 12,045 hours in 33 years. Converting that to 40-hour work weeks, I got 300 weeks, roughly 5.75 years of at-work time.
It strikes me that a person could accomplish a lot in the equivalent of almost 6 years of freed up time. Which brings me to a question I've never considered. What have I done with those 6 years?
Even though I don't have a quick answer, it feels important to ask the question. Have I enjoyed them and used the time in ways that interest and matter to me? Do I have anything to show for it? Or it is just gone?
Years ago when I was an employee, I remember yearning for one thing: time off, but not a day or two, or even a couple of weeks. I wanted blocks of time where I could be my own person again. I wanted time to read the newspaper leisurely, muck around in the garden, help out a neighbor or a friend, volunteer, browse in a bookstore, get lost in a project, just be.
That is how I've spent my 6 reclaimed years; surrounded by a bit more time to live quietly, with minimal distraction, at my own pace. Since I am a person who wants to be in my life, not distracted from it, this has been truly helpful. I know that whenever I become too distracted, I feel myself losing focus and drifting out of my life. Thirty three years later, I still feel a longing for quiet and need it to hear the inner promptings that guide me home to who I am.
With gratitude,
Laurie Mattila
Good Books
Infinite Possibilities
The Art Of Living Your Dreams
by Mike Dooley
Atria Books / Beyond Words, 2009
hardcover, $25.00
“As you begin uncovering more and more of life's truths, so will you begin to understand the awesome potentials that are latent in all you think, say, and do.”
-- Mike Dooley
You might remember that I mentioned Infinite Possibilities in the December 2009 issue of this newsletter. I was looking forward to reading it and, now that I have, it deserves further mention.
When the book came out in September 2009, it made it onto the New York Times bestseller list. If you can't find it in stock locally right now, you can still find it on the internet.
The heart of Mike Dooley's work is centered on helping people to grasp that “thoughts become things.” What we repeatedly think about, is what we get. It doesn't matter if we're aware of our own thoughts or this principle. It's simply the way things work.
In the first chapter, Thoughts Become Things, Dooley includes the story of the totally miserable start to his first career, working as an auditor for the former accounting firm Price Waterhouse. Things were not going well, everyone knew it, and Dooley didn't have a clue what to do. He feared he was going to be fired and was obsessed with these dire thoughts. Since Dooley had no idea what a successful auditor did, he couldn't visualize himself doing those things. Instead, he leaped to the end result and began to visualize himself walking down the hall—greeting and being greeted by partners and staff—happy to be at work and loving his job. Shortly after he began his visualization project, he was loaned to the tax department. “...in what seemed like no time at all, I was walking up and down the hallways of P.W. just beaming with joy. It turned out that the tax department loved me, and I loved being in the tax department. My short-term loan became a permanent transfer, and from that day forward my career at P.W. took off.”
Dooley has a way of taking what could be slippery concepts and making them user-friendly. He wants readers to understand the basics of living their dreams and begin applying them, now. You'll find lots of help for understanding the thoughts and beliefs at work in your life. “You want to go from thinking the kind of thoughts that have delivered you to this day to thinking the kind of thoughts you'd think once your dreams have already come true.” An important step in living your dreams involves recognizing what has worked superbly for you and what isn't working at all. Dooley never implies he has the answers for your life; instead, he wants you to remember they're already arriving for you.
If you work with visualizations and affirmations, you'll probably discover a few tips you haven't encountered elsewhere.
Create for yourself a huge palette of thoughts to dwell on.
Don't link your dreams together. Visualize one at a time. (Why? See page 49.)
Five minutes, once or twice a day, is enough.
Infinite Possibilities does an excellent job of balancing the world of spirit and intention with the material world of action and results.
Disneystrology
What Your Birthday Character Says About You
by Lisa Finander
Quirk Books, 2010
paperback, $16.95
This is the first book I've mentioned in Good Books that was written by a friend of mine. It's an amazing, fun, and spirited book. Did I mention it's beautiful, too?
For each day of the year Lisa selected a Disney character whose personality and traits represent the essence of that day. Readers will be delighted and amazed how the character of their birthday reflects back to them their own strengths, gifts, and challenges. You'll see beloved and familiar characters from the Disney Classics all the way to UP and Toy Story 3. You'll also meet characters you might have missed, or totally forgotten about. Lisa brings them all to life for you.
You don't need to be a certain age or even a Disney fan to appreciate the truths of each character's story and celebrate their special contributions. But if you're a follower all things Disney, or you know one, this is definitely a book to add to the collection of Disney favorites.
Congratulations, Lisa!
Here's a link to Disneystrology on Amazon where you can order a bunch.
Practice Page
“Some things have to be believed to be seen.”
—Ralph Hodgson
Here’s something to do: a perfect summer project using magazines, scissors, and glue. It’s also something to think about, write about, talk about, and wonder about.
Vision Board / Collage
This classic experiment has a number of names and is suggested for a variety of purposes. Most often, it is used to create an intentional, visual representation of what you desire. This includes material things like a red sports car, a laptop computer, a new puppy, a romantic partner, a remodeled kitchen. These are represented by images cut from magazines. Less tangible, desired things like confidence, adventure, freedom, success, creativity, spirituality might be represented by words alone or by a combination of images and words. When creating a collage in this way, you search for specific pictures and words to represent what you already know you desire in your future.
I like to suggest a variation on this experiment as a means of discovery. Instead of picturing what you already know, you create a collage that is guided by deeper inner knowing. This is not a better way to do the experiment, it is simply a way of bringing less accessible truths to the surface to be worked with.
supplies needed:
a stack of magazines
scissors
glue stick
foamcore board (20” by 30”) or poster board (22” by 28” or half a sheet) are appealing sizes
Guidelines: Collecting, Assembling, Processing
Give yourself enough time and space to enter into the project and enjoy it. If it works better for you, focus on collecting, assembling, and processing on three different days.
Collecting means sitting with your stack of magazines and rather mindlessly flipping through the pages. You are paying attention to anything that captures your attention and ripping out those pages for later use. What you notice and rip out will likely be a mix of pictures and words. Remember, in this version of the experiment, you are not hunting for specific things to include in your collage. As a result, your collection might contain things you would not have expected.
Assembling means beginning to arrange the images and words you have collected on the blank vision board. I suggest trying out arrangements without glue first; then when things start to click into place visually, glue them to the board. You can use scissors to cut out just the parts you want, or tear them out if you prefer. You can also overlap things and completely cover the board, or place things on the board with the background visible in places. There is no standard of organization, creativity, or quality for you to achieve.
Processing means sitting for awhile with your finished collage and taking it all in. You might think of this as beginning to read your collage, or listening to the messages within your collage—messages eager to reveal themselves to you.
Consider the following:
Are any themes or repeated patterns visible?
Does the board seem to have distinct sections or moods?
Is there a feeling of movement of flow?
Do any things seem curiously missing or present?
Where is the most energy revealed?
Any surprises?
Take a tour:
Look at every single image and word you glued onto your collage.
Ask yourself what it means or what it reminds you of?
Trust your spontaneous responses. It’s okay not to know.
As you tour your collage, it’s possible you’ll spot a theme or pattern you didn’t notice before.
Maybe something else will leap out at you.
Take good notes:
Here’s where you stop the doing, in order to really begin listening.
Allow your collage to speak to you in your imagination. Listen closely and write down everything you hear. Some people tend to hear in the first person, I need..... Others, in the second person, You need....
Examples: I need to spend more time in nature. I love to be involved with children learning. I want more orange and yellow in my life. I have funny stories to tell. I want to laugh out loud with others.
Try not to censor anything, no matter how peculiar it might initially sound.
Working Title:
Look at your collage again as you review your notes. If you had to select one overarching theme or message, what would that be?
Examples: You're as ready as you'll ever be. You were born to travel. Inspiring people is what you always want to do. Nothing is holding you back now.
I suggest finding a place to display your collage where you can see and enjoy it often. If you feel shy about others seeing it, pick a private or less visible location.
Challenge:
In your collage, see what you know. Believe it. See it in your life.
Remember the saying, Seeing is believing. And it's twist, Believing is seeing.
Resources:
If you love resources, here are some you might enjoy looking at. Keep in mind, it's more important to make and process your own collage than it is to read everything others have to say about them.
The Vision Board: The Secret To An Extraordinary Life
by Joyce Schwarz
Collins Design, 2008
paperback, $18.99
The Complete Vision Board Kit: Using the Power of Intention and Visualization to Achieve Your Dreams
by John Assaraf
Atria Books / Beyond Words, 2008
paperback, $24.99
Visioning: Ten Steps to Designing the Life of Your Dreams
by Lucia Capacchione
Tarcher / Putnam, 2000
paperback, $14.95
The Happiness Project Toolbox
Here you'll find a variation called Inspiration Boards.
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Vision Boards
by Marcia Layton Turner
Alpha, 2009
paperback, $16.95
I'm mentioning this book, but not recommending it. The example vision boards feel uninspired compared to most I've seen, but that doesn't mean you won't find some useful ideas.
Laurie Mattila
© August 2010
Upcoming Calendar:
Discovery Writing: Creating A FutureSM
For 16 years Discovery Writing has been helping people to hear and trust their own knowing, in order to create a life of their own choosing.
For NEW Students:
FALL & WINTER CLASSES
Discovery Writing: Creating A Future
This six-session class uses a simple “listening-writing” process as a way to explore what you truly desire; it is also a path to follow in creating your future.
View the online flyer to learn more about Discovery Writing: Creating A Future
Fall Schedule 2010
Tuesday evening ( 6:30 - 8:30 p.m. )
September 21 October 5, 19 November 2, 16, 30
Winter Schedule 2011
Saturday morning ( 10:00 a.m. - 12:00 p.m. )
January 15, 29 February 12, 26 March 12, 26
NEW!!! A ONE-DAY WORKSHOP
Introducing Discovery Writing
I’m offering a one-day, four-topic workshop to introduce prospective students to the process, and the joy, of Discovery Writing.
After sampling this workshop, students will know more clearly whether they want to continue on in the six-session Discovery
Writing class. If space permits, the workshop will also welcome former students who want to reconnect with the listening-writing
process.
Four Topics:
The Notebook as Container
Listening-Writing is a Way
Guided by Inner Knowing
Experiments Make it Real
More Details:
Saturday, November 6, 2010
9:00 a.m. - 2:00 p.m.
Total Cost: $75.00 (payable in advance to reserve your place in the workshop)
To Register:
Call Laurie at 651-644-7766 and leave your name and phone number(s).
Your call will be returned and your name will be added to the workshop list.
For FORMER Students:
FALL RETREAT
2010 Discovery Writing Weekend Retreat for Women
The annual Discovery Writing retreat is scheduled for the weekend of October 15-17. We'll be gathering
at StoneyWoods Retreat Center, as we have for the past ten years.
This retreat is open to all former and current Discovery Writing students. If space remains available, the retreat will open to any woman interested in personal discovery through listening-writing.
In early August, detailed information will automatically be emailed to past registrants, as long as I have
your current email address. If you do not receive the retreat email by August 6, let me know and I will
send it to you.
If you are new to Discovery Writing and interested in attending the retreat, please send me an email
requesting retreat information to mail@LaurieMattila.com. Expect a response after August 12.
ONGOING GROUP
2011 Discovery Writing Yearlong Group
This listening-writing group for former Discovery Writing students begins in January and meets monthly
through December. If you're thinking this might be the year for you to participate, pencil the second
Wednesday of the month on your calendar. Watch for details in the December newsletter or call and let
me know you are interested: 651-644-7766.
Intentional Living—Meaningful Work SM
The idea of living with intention and working with meaning speaks to the heart, soul, and imagination. It is a topic that grows more relevant with each passing year.
Poet Mary Oliver asks, “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” Using this question as a place to begin, you are invited to examine the way you are living and working. Consider other questions too—Is this all there is? What are my true needs? How is my life being consumed? What's worth doing? Grapple with these ideas and more through personal reflection, group discussion, interactive exercises, a little writing, and optional outside reading. The group provides a supportive and stimulating environment that encourages personal responsibility for informed, conscious choice.
September 2010 to May 2011
Intentional Living—Meaningful Work group
This September, I'll begin another nine-month group that will meet once every month through next May. This group is open to anyone interested in exploring “living with intention and working with meaning,” whether or not you've ever taken the class. Our focus is on paying attention to the lives we are creating.
We will meet on the second Tuesday of each month from 6:30-8:30 p.m. at my office in the Midway neighborhood of St. Paul. The cost is $125 per quarter, payable in any month of the quarter. The group is limited to eight members and preregistration is required.
Meeting dates (by quarter):
September 14, October 12, November 9
December 14, January 11, February 8
March 8, April 12, May 10
Please call my office at 651-644-7766 for more information or to register for the Intentional Living—
Meaningful Work group; leave your name and phone number so that I can return your call. Directions
will be sent when you register.
Important Update: For over ten years I offered the class Intentional Living—Meaningful Work through
the Compleat Scholar program at the University of Minnesota. I will now be offering the classes and
groups from my workplace, located in the convenient Midway neighborhood of St. Paul. I would love to
have you join us if you are interested.
About the Newsletter
This newsletter is created several times a year for my clients and students, and anyone else interested in listening to and trusting their own deep knowing. It is designed to support your process of discovery and growth, and to bring you up-to-date about my practice. It offers encouragement, guidance and resources for you.
You will find new issues posted on my website in the months of April, August and December. I hope you add my website to your favorite places and check back when the next issues are scheduled.
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