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This is the print-friendly version of the April 2011 Newsletter -
Online Issue # 27
April 2011 Newsletter
Online Issue # 27
In this Issue:
See also, the print-friendly version of this newsletter (all the articles are on one web page).
Look for the next issue in August.
The Front Page
The Season for Becoming
“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”
—Anna Quindlen
I found the title for this essay on a piece of paper, clipped to an old body + soul magazine I unearthed during a recent de-cluttering project. Written in my own handwriting, the words—The Season for Becoming—still resonate with me, even though I can't pinpoint what originally prompted me to write them or when.
It might have been an idea for a workshop, a seasonal writing workshop, that would offer an opportunity to gather a small group to explore becoming, in each season and throughout a year. Or it might have been an idea for an occasional column I would write about becoming who we are. Those are my two best guesses. But now a third, new idea occurs to me: I could write to explore how the season for becoming relates to this issue of the newsletter, making it a listening-writing demonstration.
As I entertain this new idea, I listen for questions that might get me started. Isn't it always the season for becoming? What difference does a season make to the process of our becoming? What part (or parts) of the process of becoming is unaffected by the particulars of a season? Is it possible to take a break from becoming, like a person might take a spring-break vacation? Or does the process move along, with or without our awareness, a silent backdrop to every breath and heartbeat?
There are more questions. Do we even realize who and what and how we are becoming? Or is that something more evident to the world around us than it is to us? What role does personal choice or intention play in the process? What are our responsibilities? Who and what are our inspirations?
I sense my focus shifting toward my ongoing attraction to quotations. This has me mentally sifting through fragments I sort of remember, searching for words that might inspire or illuminate something. This is what I dredge up: It takes courage to grow up and become who you already are. There is no name attached to the memory I've hooked. Was it Einstein? I get online and discover it was the poet e.e. cummings, and I was pretty close on the way I remembered the words.
“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” —e.e. cummings
I agree with cummings: it does take courage to grow up, and it takes courage to be who you really are. Or as I remembered it, who you already are. Is who you already are different from who you really are? And what does this have to do with the season for becoming?
My listening-writing has taken me on a ramble and, in this moment, I want to write my way home. I want to discover something that connects one thing to another. The words—“in this moment”—leap forward to become my clue: this moment is the time and place for becoming, the only opportunity for becoming.
Unlike a season with its sweeping vistas, cherished traditions, and visible transformation, for many of us one moment is impossible to grasp; it's invisible, it's here and gone, and it can't be contained. Plus, even when we notice moments, there are so many of them in which not much seems to happen. It makes it easy to ignore what we do with them, or fail to do with them.
Yet, each moment is a tiny building block for an hour, a season, and a life. It is the space in which we become—however, whoever, and whatever we become. What we do again and again, makes us who we really are. In the accumulation of our thoughts, choices, and actions, we create and recreate ourselves. We don't do it tomorrow, or next month, or two years from now. We did it yesterday, and this morning, and five minutes ago.
Spring arrives offering another season for becoming who you really are. It brings moments of sweet birdsong, greening landscapes, warm sunshine, puddles, sidewalk cafes, outdoor markets....
Will you inhabit the moment? Will you be who you really are, who you already are? Will you dare to be perfectly yourself—in the only season for becoming—in this moment?
With gratitude,
Laurie Mattila
Stopping to Listen
In case you missed it in December, I announced an audio project that is now available on my website for your listening. Ron Duffy, of Inner Journeys Radio, worked with me to record this conversation in my office in St. Paul where we talked about my work. The five tracks include:
Track 1 Introduction (2:04)
Track 2 Trusting the Process: Becoming Who We Are (24:12)
Track 3 Discovery Writing (33:11)
Track 4 Clarifying Conversations (18:14)
Track 5 Closing Comments (2:02)
I hope you enjoy them all.
Good Books
The Power of Receiving:
A Revolutionary Approach to Giving Yourself the Life You Want and Deserve
by Amanda Owen
Tarcher/Penguin, 2010
paperback, $13.95
“Whatever we don't include, we marry, go to work for, or give birth to.”
“The world will give only as much as you can receive.”
—Amanda Owen
In The Power Of Receiving, Amanda Owen writes about fulfilling the desires, dreams, goals we have for our lives, a topic already explored by thousands of writers within the self-help genre. Owen's approach is unique, going beyond identifying, attracting, and manifesting, to actually receiving what we desire.
It all begins with developing an understanding of the wholeness inherent in receiving and giving.
The book includes twelve interesting exercises designed to help readers practice receiving. The very first step, in the first exercise, is a simple warmup: Accept All Compliments. This sounds so easy, but it was very revealing when I tried it. I especially like that all of the exercises are conveniently summarized in the final chapter.
As readers begin to strengthen their capacity to receive, they move on to write and attract a goal, and cultivate a healthy relationship with it. By referring to your goal as “someone,” Owen demonstrates a way to easily shift how you think about, communicate with, relate to, and feel toward your goal.
Two chapters are devoted to understanding and working with what lurks in the shadow and stands between you and your goal. Using the little circle of what you exclude, separate from and outside of The Big Circle of all that you include, Owen provides a simple, visual representation of the forces at work within each of us. When it comes to manifesting your desires, what's out wants in, or else.
The book offers practical things you can try when facing one of life's common disappointments: working toward something that never quite seems to materialize. Owen offers a possibility that makes complete sense: some of us are missing out on a dream because we didn't know we needed to receive it.
I highly recommend The Power of Receiving, especially if you recognize yourself as someone who prefers to do it yourself and has difficulty receiving.
The Art of Non-Conformity:
Set Your Own Rules, Live the Life You Want and Change the World
by Chris Guillebeau
Perigee, 2010
paperback, $14.95
“The purpose of this book is to transform your thinking about life and work.”
“You don't have to live your life the way other people expect you to.”
—Chris Guillebeau
Chris Guillebeau is a thirty-something writer, entrepreneur, world traveler, and non-conformist. On his website, he admits he writes “for a small minority of people interested in living life on their own terms while making a dramatic, positive difference in the lives of others at the same time.” If you've been led to believe this can't be done, you owe it to yourself to read this book.
Guillebeau spent four influential years as a volunteer aid work in West Africa, followed by a return to the U.S. to work on a graduate degree in International Studies. When asked by friends what he was going to do next, Guillebeau eventually responded, “I'm going to start my own social movement.... The Art of Nonconformity.” This is the heart of his compelling life, work, and story: “How to Live a Remarkable Life in a Conventional World.”
“... on a train ride between Slovakia and Hungary a couple of years ago, I figured out that the cost of visiting 100 countries would be roughly equal to that of buying a new S.U.V. When I saw how relatively little that was, I felt encouraged. I gave up the hypothetical large vehicle and received the world in return.” Just so you know, Guillebeau is now well on his way to reaching his goal “to visit every country in the world.” So far the count is at 151 out of 192 countries. He is also actively partnered with Charity: Water in Ethiopia sharing royalties from the sale of this book.
If you're withering on a conventional vine, wanting to “create an opportunity for change,” or just launching your life, you'll find plenty of inspiration in Guillebeau's writing on life, work, and travel. The book might make a wonderful gift, and a world of difference, for a high school or college graduate you know, or someone with a passion for traveling the world.
Take time to visit Guillebeau's website too: http://chrisguillebeau.com
Practice Page
“Nothing happens next. This is it.”
Cartoon Published in The New Yorker
8/25/1980 by Gahan Wilson
The line above appears in a cartoon showing two monks seated side by side, meditating. The older monk is responding to the novice who has asked the question, “What happens next?”
The young monk's question is similar to a question one of my students reported asking himself for most of his life. As he went from one accomplishment to the next, he rarely paused. There was alway the driving question, “What's next?” Then one day he stopped long enough to consider an equally important question, “What's now?” As he paused to think about his life, he realized the magnitude of his accomplishments and the many ways in which he was blessed. In order to truly enjoy the life he had, he decided to change his focus and ask a new question, “What's now?”
Interview Yourself
Identify a few key questions and use them to conduct a written interview with yourself.
Begin by pausing. Listen to any and all questions that occur to you. Write them down the way you hear them. Don't worry about finding better or more perfect questions. Instead, make a list of the questions you hear, knowing that you can refine them later.
The following are examples that might help you to start hearing your own questions:
What's next?
What's now?
Who inspires me to live true to myself?
What inspires me?
What is the most wonderful thing I can imagine happening in my life?
What do I like about the person I've become?
What is everyone else doing that I'm doing too? ....that I'm resisting?
What is my relationship with the present? ....with my future?
What are the most important things I've learned from living my life?
Select the questions you want to use for your interview with yourself. Respond to each question, rather than trying to answer it as though it had one correct answer. Allow yourself to be curious about what your response will be.
This is one listening-writing experiment that benefits from being typed and printed. Most of the interviews we encounter are in typed format, rather than handwritten. Seeing your own interview, looking like the others, gives you an opportunity to experience yourself in a new way.
I predict your interview will be as interesting to you as any you might read.
Laurie Mattila
© April 2011
Upcoming Calendar:
Discovery Writing: Creating A FutureSM
For 16 years Discovery Writing has been helping people to hear and trust their own knowing, in order to create a life of their own choosing.
For NEW Students:
SPRING, SUMMER & FALL CLASSES
Discovery Writing: Creating A Future
This six-session class uses a simple “listening-writing” process as a way to explore what you truly desire; it is also a path to follow in creating your future.
View the online flyer to learn more about Discovery Writing: Creating A Future
Spring Schedule 2011
The original start date for the spring class has been delayed by two weeks to April 7. Thursday evening ( 6:30 - 8:30 p.m. )
April 7, 14, 21, 28 May 5, 12
Summer Schedule 2011
Wednesday morning ( 9:30 - 11:30 a.m. )
June 22, 29 July 6, 13, 20, 27
Fall Schedule 2011
Wednesday evening ( 6:30 - 8:30 p.m. )
September 21 October 5, 19 November 2, 16, 30
For FORMER Students:
Listening-Writing at the Purple Table
I've been wanting to create a way for former students to drop by and sit at the purple table again, to enjoy and benefit from writing in a group. Here's what I've decided to try this summer.
I've selected four days, at varying times, when my office will be open for listening and writing. I'll be there with writing experiments for us to use.
If you're interested in attending, please phone or email me in advance. I'll need to confirm your place, since my office has room for only eight writers. Then show up on time with your notebook. There is no fee to participate. I look forward to seeing you again!
Monday, May 23 at 6:30 - 8:30 p.m.
Tuesday, June 21 at 10:00 a.m. - Noon
Saturday, July 16 at 9:00 - 11:00 a.m.
Sunday, August 14 at 10:00 a.m. - Noon
Intentional Living—Meaningful Work SM
Look for information about a fall class in the August newsletter.
About the Newsletter
This newsletter is created several times a year for my clients and students, and anyone else interested in listening to and trusting their own deep knowing. It is designed to support your process of discovery and growth, and to bring you up-to-date about my practice. It offers encouragement, guidance and resources for you.
You will find new issues posted on my website in the months of April, August and December. I hope you add my website to your favorite places and check back when the next issues are scheduled.
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